How To: Do It All

This past summer, I participated in the Kickstart Our Creativity Challenge though the Exhale Creativity community via Coffee + Crumbs. One of the daily challenges was to write for 20 minutes uninterrupted. This was my piece and it still speaks true to me now… the constant tug between my creative endeavors and motherhood. If you have ever considering joining Exhale Creativity, I suggest that you take advantage of the upcoming Kickstart Our Creativity challenge which runs from January 13th-17th, 2020. You will be provided with a creativity lesson + challenge each day, for free! Sign up here.

The challenge: 20 minutes of dedicated writing time.

As I write this I am thinking of many things:

The dishes need put into the dishwasher.

The cat is staring at me.. man, I should really schedule that vet appointment.

Did my husband change the litter box? The doctor reminds me at every appointment that litter boxes are a no no while pregnant.

I haven’t even cleared out the room that will be baby #2’s nursery. Or started shopping for big boy furniture for my son to replace the crib that I will need to switch to his sister’s room.

Did I switch the laundry?

I hope the weather is nice on Friday so I can finish painting my shed. I wonder if I’ll have time to finish painting the fireplace too. I started that a year ago.

I need to perfect the candle recipe for the craft festival I’m in. I’ll need to make 200+ items in less than 30 days. What if it rains that day and I have 200 candles and money invested for nothing?

Why did I take up candle making anyway?

Tonight was a good night with the baby. He was fun and cute and kept the tantrum’s to a minimum. When did he get so big? What’s it going to be like with two?

Work has been dull this week. Preparation for an annual banquet is basically done but the anxiety remains that something will go wrong.

I would like to think that I have some grand ideas swirling around in my head, ready to be written down if only I had the time to do it. Yet, here I sit, timer set and all.. and all I can think of is an endless to do list. What would I even write about? Who wants to hear about how being a mom is hard? Hasn’t that been established?

I just reread what I’ve typed and want to hit the delete button and go to bed. Sometimes it’s good to go through the motions, though.

I heard my husband walk up the stairs and had the automatic instinct to close the laptop. If I can’t even write in the comfort of my own house, on my own couch, how am I supposed to write anything meaningful at all?

5 minutes remain.

15 minutes of dedicated writing time so far and I’ve spent at least two of it complaining about how this sucks and another two rereading my words and thinking about how it sucks.

The cat left. The dog is pacing, waiting for me to be done so we can go to bed. I thought I heard the sounds of my son stirring, the pain of his molars waking him. I am tired but I wouldn’t mind the cuddles.

I’m doing that thing where I type and delete, type and delete.

“How to do it all”? more like “How to do it at all”.

Time.

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